Walmart--A Poem and a Warning

I went to Walmart today after work.  I thought it was early enough that I wouldn't suffer the usual mine fields that accompany a trip to Walmart.  I was wrong.  Last time I was there, some crazy person with very bad parking skills and a very large truck parked so close to my door that I couldn't get in the driver's side.  I'm too old and too a-few-other-things to easily vault the center console in my SUV.  I was not very happy.  And for some reason, they have decided that 80 degrees is a comfortable temperature for the place.  I stand in the meat aisle as an intermission just to keep from hurting someone or bursting into flames in the last 30% of the store. 

So while I was getting the stuff the family can't live through the weekend without, I entertained myself by writing a poem.  

Dear Walmart

Oh Walmart, Walmart,

How I hate thee!!

You irritate, torment

And frustrate me.

Your people are mean.

Your parking stinks.

Customer service is bad.

That’s what everyone thinks.

Your “guests” are so snarly!

But it only seems fair,

Because nobody ever

Wants to go there.

By the time I get out,

I just want to cry.

I sit in my car, bang my head

And ask, “WHYYYYYYY!!!???”

No offense to nice hardworking

Folks you employ.

I’m sure their mean coworkers

Give them no joy.

I wish I could find

A new place to shop

That has as much stuff

In one single stop.

But I’m giving you warning

That until I do

I’ll go on despising

And rhyming ‘bout you.

Fix it! I mean it!

Straighten up your act!

Because one day we might not

Ever come back.

Somehow, at the end of the trip, I felt so much better than usual. Perhaps I'll write a poem every time I go there.

May the good Lord bless you today with great customer service, fresh produce, well-stocked pantries and peaceful shopping experiences

<3 Lori